My Grandpa Bumps.

I'm trying to get to know my grandfather better. So I've made a pack with myself to see him AT LEAST once a month. I went over there yesterday... And right when i walked in, he asked me to take a walk with him around the block. Of course i went... but it wasn't the best conversation ever...

He wanted to talk about the past, and how me and my sister used to not like what my dad wanted to do or go (museums and such). And he went on and on, about how my dad isn't good with emotions and all this stuff i know, now as an adult. As i let me talk badly about my dad and mom... i stayed quite, cause i really couldn't do much else. Once he let me talk, i said... 'Now that im older, i know... i know how he is, and how family is and how i am... i dont need to be lectured'. You have to understand, my Grandpa Bumps, is one of those men who thinks he is always right, that his family is the best and he has the best life and he did nothing wrong, its everyone else's fault. He'll never change.

All in all, i was upset, but i couldn't show it. Two of my cousin's came over for Drew and my Engagement breakfast at Bumps and Judy's. And it was nice. I'm going to try to visit Bumps at least once a month. Because alot of people dont visit him...

Well, i just had to get that out... Now for the serious part...

When Bumps was saying all this stuff about my Dad could have had custody because of all this stuff my mom was doing, like selling things for drug money?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?! 'HOLD THE PHONE!' my mind was on over drive, thinking... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! My mom doesn't do drugs! BUT, a few months back i went to visit an old friend and saw his mom who was one of my mom's bestfriends... and she referenced my mom to using also... So all in all, i was freaking out in my mind...

So, while Bumps is putting my parents down, all im thinking about it the words "drug money" over and over in my mind. My mom is a good person and a good mom, and she raised me and my sister really well! But, thinking about to our childhood, when we had no money... and no food... and growing up to find out Net and Blain (babysitters) smoked pot in front of us... what happened to be with stupid ass butch! My mom could have been using?! I hate this, and i want to ask my mom. I asked her the first time when Nancy (my friend's mom) told me about her "drug problem"?!?!? Do i ask her, confront her?! Drew says maybe it better if i dont know... but is it, really?! Do i know my mom?

When my mom visited me last summer, we went to her cousin's house and she was telling a story about when they were younger and how they use to drink at work! and Mom saw my face and started denying it! But i think it was true, she just wants to not be honest about that with me?! I dont know!? It kills me though...

okay... i'll keep thinking...