Monday, July 19, 2010

Time of our lives.


This is such an important and exciting time in Drew and my life! I just had my Bridal Shower this past weekend. And, i loved it! But i missed my sister and mom so much! It's weird, because i really didn't need Ashley and Jessica there. It would have been nice, but.... I REALLY wanted Chelsea there. AH! But i know she will be here in a week, and we will make up for the lost time!

But I'm trying to appreciate every moment, laugh, smile and hug! Everything has been so fun! And, seeing who really cares for you... and who will still be in our life's... Its funny, my cousin Ashli (we aren't close at all), she asked me if she was one of my bridesmaid's?!?! And her along with two other girls have been a pain in my butt about bring dates... AH! But... Now that Ashli is "getting married", now she wants to talk about herself. Its so tiring... to try to make people feel good all the time. And after all of this... I'm realizing, i dont need to do that anymore. My friend since we were 5 years old, Sarah, she wasn't going to come to my Bridal Shower, and her brother, Josh (one of my bestfriends) said he had to convince her to come!... RIGHT THEN AND THERE, i didn't want her there anymore! lol.... and Ashli is pretending she didn't get an invite... and Kathy left her a message asking if she was coming. AND Jazmin (who i've known for 11 years), doesn't work... sits at home all day, couldn't get off her ASS to support me! It's so funny, that i didn't realize, i was the one trying everytime to hang out with these people. But i realize now, i dont need them. I dont. I only need people who love me back! and Thats the promise i'm going to keep for myself, is to not try with people who dont want to try for me.

Sorry, I just need to VENT! Its so irritating. And Poor Drew, he's going through this too. But he deals with it so much better than i do.

But anyways... Thats my rant for today. I need to enjoy every moment of this, because I'm "single" for only 3 more weeks!! AH!

Friday, July 2, 2010


Vanessa and I went out last night, just to catch up and talk. It was really nice to see her. But talking to her made me remember all my dreams of being independent. My dreams of living in different cities, living by myself, making my own career... I started getting really scared about marriage! And up to this point... i've been thinking in "wife mode". I dont know what it is... I was thinking about babies, and staying home and taking care of the family... when i dont want that, for at least 2 years from now!

It's so crazy how my life has changed within the last year. For the better defiantly! My friends, the wedding, my love with Drew, my puppies, my apartment, just life in general. It's so fun and exciting. And, I realized last night, that i can be married, and become who i want to be. Drew isn't in charge of my or anything, hes just my bestfriend until forever. And I'm so happy i get to share good and bad things with him... and count on him... and just love him. I love him.

Anyways, i just needed to get that thought out. One day, Drew and I will live in New York! hehe...