Thoughts and Feelings

Hello.

I've been having so many thoughts.

Oh, and feelings. crying?... why do i cry?

But I also laugh. and smile.

So, here are my thoughts&feelings : love. anger. hope. sad. happy. fear. dread. disappointment.

And, i know this is normal. Everyone feels this way... but i need to get out my emotions on paper (aka. the internet). I'm having my own issues with friends. And, last night i got together with one of my friends, Vanessa, and i was telling her how i was feeling. I'm feeling like i care more about my friendship's than my friends do... And, she told me she went through this last year, with herself. What she was saying, thats how I'm feeling... like you have to get in contact with everyone, and try try try.... and I was telling Vanessa, how i HAVE to TRY not to text or call someone... just to see if they will think of me and get a hold of me. I just dont like doing this... and trying to be someone im not. I know that EVERYONE is different and has there own lives, but just a "hey, how are ya", is great with me. Maybe I'm different and like to keep in touch with friends... and maybe I need new friends. But, I've just been feeling, like a crazy women... lol, because i read this and feel like such a baby! But, actually, I dont care! I needed to get this out.

So, I know who my friends are... So, i know some of them are selfish... And, i know they dont think to make the first call. But, I'm just thinking, i need to find new people to bring into my life, that have the same interests as me. On a side note, last night I told drew "I need a Photographer friend... and you need a computer friend!"... And It's true, and I think I'm going to start manifesting for that to come into my life. I need to get more contacts, so I can learn the way!

So, anyways... I've been taking pictures! This past weekend I had a Family session! It's was good! I have to finish editing the photos, and I'll upload them to my Blog! I need to get on my Photography blog! I'm so behind!

Oh! I forgot to talk about this AMAZING opportunity! To tell you the truth, i was so excited at first... and then got un-excited!... So, Drew and my friends, Mike and Krysten are going to New York in April of next year! And they invited Drew and I, & Robert and Lawren to come along! I was so excited!!!! And, Drew was willing to go which made the situation so much MORE exciting! Well, last week we had a 'Girls Night' over at Lawren's, and it was DRAMA... ew.... and we ended up talking about New York. So, Lawren say's "I would like to go, but, i wouldn't want to hang out the whole time... I just want it to be me and Robert"... Which is fine and dandy with me! lol... But it got my thinking!.... I would love to do that, just Drew and I, going to all the places i want to see in New York! So anyways, Drew and I were talking about it last night, and i told him i wanted it to be just me and him.... and me saying it out loud, i wanted to laugh at myself!!!!! I've been wanting a trip to New York for as long as i can remember! And, here it is, and i said to myself TAKE IT! why not, right?!?!?! I really want to go, and I'm willing to go, right now! So going in 5 months with someone who has been (Mike)! What more could i ask for?! So all in all... I'm down!

Oh + Oh! Sister moving out here! AHHHHHHH.... I need to figure out when! lol... Drew and I need to find a Apartment! And i also need to figure out with Josh and Justin can come out with me to help chelsea and I drive cross country! So, Chelsea and I NEED to talk, we are both just so busy! BLAH! lol But, honestly, i cant wait to see her! And have her here! It just breaks my heart Mama will be alone out in Arkansas! :(

So... thats all for today folks!